One tear, a lonely tear. A tear left behind by a wasted dream. A waste of a dream, that stayed a dream. We all knew there was none, and never would be any. The junkyard dream.

Why are you crying? You knew there never was. Just being a big baby. Look at your brother. You feel lonely? He's got it much worse, and is he whining? You're a failure to be him, all you are and ever have been or will be. You can't be him, so stop trying. Better work on replacing him because what else are you good for. "Someone has to replace Tim", as you said yourself. Being your own person is a waste of a dream, it's not coming. Junk it.

Something wrong? Something is always wrong. Always a problem with you, never peaceful, never cheerful. You are never like anyone else. There's people over here, and you over there. You really think there's a woman who's going to deal with that? Do you really think anyone can love you with the weight of your failed, pathetic life on your shoulders? Do you really think YOU are going to be able to love? You had your chance, it was handed to you on a silver platter, and "Don't you have ANY emotions?" "Can't you even say 'I love you'??" She needed you and you repeatedly let her down. She even gave you a second chance and you still hurt her. What makes you think you can be any better now? You can't, deal with it. All you will do is hurt people with your selfish dreams. You and your dreams are junk, get used to it before something worse happens.

Don't give up, you've got it coming for you. You are a treasure, but your key is out there somewhere. I know you can be the greatest thing in the world to somebody out there, just be patient. Jump into something too quick and you end up in a junkyard.

15 years is not enough waiting, give it more until other people tell you you're ready. Stop thinking for yourself, because they know what's best for you. They care about you, listen to them. Your dreams are junk but they can make you into something useful. It's all there, just disassembled. You'll never amount to anything alone, let them take the wheel. They'll steer you out of this junk heap.


Where do I even go from here?